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Monday, August 29, 2011

A new friend...

School has now started it's 3rd week.  Last week I noticed how my 3rd daughter acted more angry and frustrated than usual.  Teasing and bugging her sisters, getting mad and moody over the smallest thing.  Sometimes she stomped off without any expanation at all.  Well, she's female, I know that explains a bit, but still....

On Friday evening I was pretty fed up with her behaviour, when I also remembered that rarely do kids act up like this for no appearent reason.  Everybody has their "off" days, when everything is gloomy, but this girl is usually quite smiley... Something was wrong.  I took hold of her and told her to "come here"!.  She stiffly let me hold her, and I asked how her week in school had been.  That opened the floodgates, and she went limp in my arms...   Awww!  "What's wrong?"  I asked.
She told me she had not had a good week in school.  EVRYTHING was bad. 
"Well, you just told me how you are enjoying science after all, and that your new teacher is pretty neat!"
"Yeah...."
"Have you been playing with your usual friend?"
"Nooo...."
Oh.
This friend of hers was her rock last year when we were new in the country.
Actually, so was her new friend.  Her family moved from the States just before school started a year ago, so these two had hung out like two peas in a pod.
"Well, so what's going on?, Does she have a new friend? Is she being rude to you?"
"No, she just runs away from me, and she won't talk to me..., I don't know why!!"
Ouch.
9-10 year old girls can be pretty tricky to figure out.
So instead of dwelling on her friend that isn't treating her very friendly, I asked if there are any other girls she'd like to play with. 
"Maybe"
"Who would you play with instead if you can choose?"
She told me the name of a girl, and I asked who she usually plays with.
"Nobody"
My heart took a nosedive.  Whenever I hear of a kid who plays with "nobody", it stings in my heart.
I also remembered that the girl she was talking about would always smile when I saw her.
I also remembered that this girl has a few physical disabilities that makes her look a bit "different".
I asked my daughter how she thought it would be like to grow up, going to school for many, many years, never having a good friend to hang out with.  And the reason being something that is totally out of your control...
We both agreed that it would be very, very sad.

Today my little girl is making a new friend in school.  I hope they "click" and that this could be a turning point for a lonely soul.  My daughter can teas and bug her sisters, and at times be moody, but she's also smiley and pretty, and she has a very easy time to find new friends.  I feel so fortunate that she's choosing to become friends with someone who does not have the same advantage.... Good luck girls!  I'm rooting for you!
And of course I told her not to forget her friend from last year... I hope 3 is not a crowd!!

3 comments:

Sofia L said...

Okay, THAT opened my floodgates at least. Since we all know that I was the one playing with "nobody" for years, but also because I wish I had told mom the same "no.3" told you. Love you sis!!! <3 Thanks for sharing, gives me a bit of hope in this cold world. <3<3<3

MeWoman said...

I know... life as a kid can be so hard. My goal as a parent is to try to teach our children compassion and unselfishness. A career and money is far less than that. xoxo

mamman said...

Nåå... Jag vill ge en kram till bägge tjejer. Jag har ett nytt "mantra" som jag säger varje dag. "I don't care if you're pretty or ugly as long as you're NICE"..
(not that I'd ever call a kid ugly anyway but yeah they get the point)