Blogger Boss needs to decide what this is going to say about how crazy her life is & how she loves coffee & walks with her hubby.

Friday, January 24, 2014

An average day...

January is racing towards the finishing line.
One week to go.
Last I wrote about starting this new year, and already a month is almost past!

Today is a regular day.  I need to catch up on laundry, dishes, vacuum, pick up stuff from all over the house, pay bills, maybe even make some dinner.  I had a shower.  I picked up our 2 oldest from school at 11.00, since today was the first day of "exam week" and they were done already then.
We got take out pizza for lunch.
My 6 year old wanted to be picked up early from school, her belly was hurting a bit, so I picked her up.
(she's fine now, playing a board game with her brother)
It's windy and very, very cold.  We have some snow.  It's been a cold and snowy winter here so far.
Hubby has worked A LOT.  But this afternoon he took a few hours off and will be coming home for the night, and then head back in the morning.

My belly has grown a lot.  The baby is very active in there and the kicks, flips and punches are becoming quite strong and powerful.  I love it.
My old mommy body has some aches and pains and discomforts brought on by this pregnancy.  Every time I'm pregnant I'm a bit older and every pregnancy takes its toll on my body.
Sometimes I really understand why people stop at two kids... partly to keep their bodies in good shape longer.  But then I look at my kids and realize how worth it is to have varicose veins, a lazy bladder, an achy pelvic and tired looking skin....  At one point this body will no longer exist.  And no matter how good shape I am in when I take my last breath, it will decompose just the same.
Sounds a bit morbid, but it's the truth.
I do like to know that this body will have carried many children, and hopefully my family will keep on growing for many years to come, so in a way, my hubby and I will never die.

This is my everyday life.  Daily chores, thoughts about the new baby, homework, nagging on the kids, missing my husband, wasting time doing nothing...  And these days become a long string of days, and one day I'll look back and realize that those days were my life.
I try to fill them with as many hugs and kisses as possible. I try to laugh a lot.  I try to appreciate growing another baby in my belly.  I try to be positive and happy.  Because when I look back at that long string of days, I want them to make me smile.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Happy 2014!

Happy New Year everyone.

It's funny, when I was younger a new year seemed to mean so much more.  I'd have big dreams and elaborate plans and each new year seemed "magic" and exciting.
I don't know if this new way of feeling comes with age and maturity, but for each year, New Year seem very much like any other day.
Sound kind of pessimistic when I write that down.
But I don't feel it in a pessimistic way.
It's more like a "matter of fact" feeling.

A new year is to many a "new beginning".  Promises are made, and within a few weeks broken... ;)
I have learned that changes that I NEED to make, is something that has to happen, regardless what day of the year is.  I won't focus on a certain day or hour, I try to make small changes each day instead.
Sometimes I succeed, often I fail.  But failing to succeed doesn't hurt as much if you weren't too hyped up about the change in the first place.
Sometimes things just don't work out.  They weren't meant to be.

I write a journal, one page per day, and at the end of each month there's a full page where you can add notes.  I just did my final notes to 2013, and wow!!  It sure made me reflect about our past year.
One year ago I started 2013 with a hope and prayer in my heart.
A big wish was sent above.
The wish really burned in my heart, and I was quite scared that our goal for 2013 would not be met.
The big plan was to move back to Canada from Finland.
When you stand on the threshold and sway back and forth, waiting to take a step towards a new adventure, so many, many thoughts and feelings are present.
When there's a big change you are about to make on behalf of your family, you want to get it right.
Times like that it's easy to be humble and remember to pray.
But it is Oh so HARD to be patient and not doubt.

Last spring was a blur of activity.  Getting our house "ready enough" to be put up for sale.
Did we list it at the right time?  At the right price?
We felt nervous and excited and impatient.
The months went by, too fast and too slow at the same time.
I wanted time to move forward, so that we would be back in Canada as soon as possible!
I wanted time to stay still, so I could enjoy our last months in Finland, making the best of it, but also so that we would have time to get everything done and ready to go!!!
I stubbornly prayed.  And pleaded.  And doubted.  And stressed.  And somehow, survived.
To me the unknown is the worst.
If someone would have told me
"It won't happen, give it another year!"
I would have been fine.
All the reasons I had for why this last year would have been a good year to move, would have seized to matter.  I would have steeled myself for another year and made the best out of it.
The not knowing ate me alive though.

At midsummer we still didn't know.  We spent the weekend away with many dear friends, and I totally disconnected from the house selling and the whole move.
I embraced the thought of maybe staying another year, and truly felt it wouldn't be so bad.
Besides, how would we even have time to get everything ready to move in just 6-7 weeks?
There was still a lot of work left to do on our house.
I stopped stressing and let it all just "be".
The Monday after we'd been gone, we got a call.
Some friends of our neighbors who had viewed our house a week and a half ago, called back.
"Can we come and see your house again this weekend?"

Saturday came, and it was my Hubby's grandma's funeral.
Our thoughts were so far away from earthly worries or concerns.
We spent precious time with friends and family, bidding farewell to a beautiful soul.
In the evening we came home to meet the prospect buyers, and Hubby and I felt so at peace.
We knew God had walked ahead of us and prepared the way.
After showing the house again, and a brief conversation with this very nice couple, we decided on a price and closing date.  We were really selling our house!!!
I had thought this moment would bring me such ecstatic feelings.
But mostly I just felt a silent prayer of gratitude.
This was not our doing.
There was no room for patting our own backs.
Things fell into place at God's time.
When our frame of mind was just right.

We had 5 weeks to get the house ready, have it inspected, book tickets, order a shipping container, pack everything up... Prepare many things in Canada.
We rolled up our sleeves and went to work.
Hard work.  Many, many long days.
At times I almost felt exhausted to tears.
I promise you, those are the times it is EASY to remember to pray.
Before getting out of bed in the morning, I prayed.
And God gave strength, sanity, health and enough energy.
Our kids were so good and helpful.
The weather was amazing!!
We had a wonderful guy work for us, he'd stay late many nights, helping my Hubby with construction.

Somehow... it worked.

There are so many details I could add, but mostly I look back and think "Wow".
It sure wasn't our own doing.
We could have gotten sick.
It could have rained every day.
There could have been delays.
The tickets that I booked for our overseas plane could have been gone (we found some really good deals, and when I booked them, there were only 12 tickets left on that plane, and we needed 9 of them!!)

So what have I learned from all this?
It doesn't matter what day it is, what year it is, or what time it is.
What matter is that things will happen in God's time.  And with this knowledge in my heart I greet 2014.
With a prayer that I will try to stay humble and remember this, also this year, regardless what our future has in store.