It's a way for me to empty my head.
I'm a thinker, more so than a talker, believe it or not!!
When I busy myself with chores around the house, I use this time to think.
Or when I'm driving somewhere.
If there's something I hear or see that provokes my mind, I think.
Of course everybody thinks all the time, but maybe I think a bit "deeper" than others on a more regular basis. As long as I remember I've analyzed human behaviour.
When I was only about 6-7 years old I'd wonder why there were different countries, and since we are all humans and are all "the same", why couldn't we just all travel where we wanted and be friends?
I also never minded telling who I liked.
I figured, If it's so easy to tell who you DON'T like, which is actually a mean or bad thing to do, why isn't it easier to tell people who you DO like??
In my childish brain this made no sense.
And it still doesn't.
I guess we fear being rejected or not loved back.
I tell our kids
"It's ALWAYS good to like and love, and even if you are not liked or loved back, there's nothing for you to lose. It's a good feeling to know that you indeed is able to like and love."
With 6 emotional girls in the house, of course there'll be times of heartaches and sad times in the future, but that's part of life too.
Something they in the end (hopefully) will get stronger from.
So... where does this lead?
Oh yeah, I don't mind telling people who I like or love, so let me tell you about my favourite person!
Almost 16 years ago fate brought us together.
He wasn't supposed to go to Finland, and neither was I.
We both made last minute decisions to go.
The first nite I was in Finland we met.
And I, the "thinker" and a rather logical person who was the least romantic person I knew... fell head over heels in love. Really at first sight. (That only happens in Harlequin novels, I used to think)
And he, the cautios guy who didn't want to date anyone unless he knew he'd marry her, did the same.
A few people who were standing right by us when we first shook hands said after that they could literally see and almost hear a "click" as our hearts connected, thinking
"Those two just fell in love!"
He has later claimed that he "knew" the moment he first saw me that I was the girl he wanted to marry.
Fine with me!!
During the next year I went to visit him in Canada, and at Christmas time he came to Sweden where we got engaged. Then we spent a looooooooong spring apart... From New Year to early June, when he FINALLY came to Sweden so we could get married.
It's been 15 years today.
We are cheesier than ever. More in love than ever. Our kids (especially our oldest girl) groans at us and think we are ultimately nerdy. But at the same time she admits she WAY rather have us be like that than fighting. (which we sometimes do, but not very much)
Often I look back at that moment when we first met.
And I'm still amazed at how powerful love is when you allow it to happen.
How it changes you in such great ways.
I had a had a few rough years, in many different ways, before we met, but from that moment on things took a turn for the better.
I had someone who thought I was the most amazing thing ever.
Someone who wasn't shy to tell me how wonderful he thought I was.
He boosted my poor self esteem and made me a stronger person.
His love has always been unwavering.
Just what I needed.
Because even if I've always had an easy time to love and share hugs, I also had a hard time finding myself loveable. To have him love me for who I am with no strings attached, has been the greatest gift I could have ever asked for.
He always talks well about me. He never ever puts me down. He truly believes I am the greatest wife in the world and that he lucked out majorly!! (he he, cute!)
And even if he just has his head stuck in the clouds and can't see me for the average person I am, I'm not gonna complain about it!
It makes me feel secure and special.
Well... Happy 15th Anniversary dear Hubby.
You are more than I could have ever prayed for.
God truly is great.
Thank you for loving me so much.