Merry Christmas!!!!!

Here are some pictures of the latest.
My Little Guy and I to the left.
He got his 1st "big boy" hair cut (NOT willingly).
The poor kid screeeeamed the entire time...
But after I was done with the clippers, we were friends again.
He was quite impressed with his new "do" in the end!!

 Our youngest girl donning her new specs!  We found out she needs glasses a while ago, and thankfully she wears them willingly.  Here she's making marzipan goodies for Christmas.

Some of the yummy creations!  The girls had so much fun making them, and we'll all enjoy eating them!

Martha Stewart didn't help me decorate our house for Christmas this year either... But the kids and I have had lots of fun making our own crafts and baking. 

 My oldest daughter went out and picked some birch twigs, and then set up a bird-making station for her 5 younger sisters.
She put glue on the twigs, that she sprinkled salt on!  Looks like snowy "branches".
I think it turned out great!

On December 13th we celebrated St Lucia.  The kids sang some Christmas hymns, and then we served some treats (gingerbread cookies, marzipan goodies, "glögg"-Swedish hot cider, and Swedish "julmust", a carbonated Christmas drink) to some local ladies.  It was beautiful and fun!

 Baking "pepparkakor", or gingerbread cookies, is one of the most common Christmas traditions in our house.  Here's our "family", with Star watching over us.  Thanks to my oldest daughter for the cute idea!

A few weeks ago we took the whole gang bowling, here are the 5 oldest gals, waiting for our lanes to become available.

...and here's Big Guy and Little Guy watching other people bowl.


Well, that's that for now.
I've had a lot going on in the last few weeks, and I think I'm done with all my shopping.  Yes!!!
I even went and got all the food we need for the weekend, so now the cooking can start....
Have a blessed and Very Merry Christmas all my friends.  There are so many of you that I miss, and I sure wish you were closer... May God bless and keep us all in the New Year.

Dear diary...

Today I feel like writing just to write, so we'll see what pops to my mind!

It's December.  And the fact that Christmas is indeed coming, is slowly sinking in...
And I'm getting excited about it too!
Watching the kid's excitement rubs off on me.
I remember the Christmases I spent as a singel girl, living quite far away from my parents, meaning I didn't make it home for Christmas every year.  Christmas was nice and fun, but I had a hard time getting the "feeling" that you have as a child.
Wanting to see the familiar decorations, listening to Christmas songs, singing along.
Baking, wrapping gifts, writing little riddles that we'd add to the gifts.
My younger brother and I had a riot with this, and when we hit our mid/late teens, things would get out of control.  We'd be laughing hysterically at our really stupid "riddles", that pretty much said straight out what was in the package!  We'd wrap my dads socks separately (so if he was getting a 5 pack of socks, he'd actually have 10 gifts to open)
Yes, we were nerdy, and man was it fun at the time!
As we handed out the gifts on Christmas eve, it seemed like our dad got the most gifts!
We also made joke gifts at times, and that tradition our oldest girls have continued.

A few years ago one of our girls had wrapped a sticker with great care.
I'm taking layers and layers of wrapping paper, with roughly a whole roll of tape keeping it all together...
When you finally got to the sticker, it said:
"You did it!"
I've been making joke gifts for the kids as well, and one time I wrapped packaging bubbles for one of the girls (our petlover). There were about 15-20 of them, and they were in a long "string", about 6 by 4 inches in size.  I drew googly eyes on them and gave them all names... She had wanted a pet for Christmas, and now she had a whole "farm"!
She kept them for a few years.  :)

Last night Hubby and I went grocery shopping and took the time to go out for a quick coffee as well.
Coming home there were candles burning, and the remains of "pulla" (cinnamon rolls) and "glögg" (Swedish "apple cider") were to be found on the table.  The kids had been practicing Christmas hymns in time for St Lucia! 
Christmas is so much more fun when you have kids to celebrate it with.
And it's NOT for the gifts sake.
They see the magic in all the little things.

When I was single, and even during our first few years of marriage (before our oldest kids were old enough to understand what was going on), Christmas seemed more "mechanical", although I enjoyed buying gifts for others, eating good food and all that, that pure joy was missing.
Now it's definitely here.
To watch the kids eyes when they see mysteriously shaped packages wrapped up, waiting to be opened...
To feel your belly close to bursting from all the good food and treats...
To squish the whole family on the couch and sing Christmas songs till our throats are sore...
To read the gospel of Christmas together as a family (even if it felt SOOO long when I was a kid!)...
To look around me and see all of our kids gathered around us. (always brings tears of joy to my eyes)
It makes me so happy for their sake that they have each other.  That they get to grow up together in this crazy bunch.  Big families are a lot of work, but during holidays "The more" is definitely merrier!
To feel that great thankfulness coming from deep inside you...
It's magical and wonderful and beautiful.

I'm excited.  And I think I have to figure out a joke gift or two...

Slowly but surely!

Here things are in full swing!  The last week has brought some much needed energy along for me!  I feel so "normal", it's almost scary, but it's also really nice.
After having an insane amount of things going on in the last few years, and with no signs of it slowing down in sight, I am sure happy that I feel an extra surge of strength!!
I do get occational reminders of how vulnerable I still am thou.

Last Thursday I ventured out to town.  First time in a LOOONG time that I did this by myself!  Felt really good.  I had a maternity top that I wanted to return (tags were still on), but of course I did not have a receipt.  Well, I figured, they might let me exchange it for something at least.
Well.  They didn't. 
"Sorry, if you don't have a receipt, we can't take it back!"
"But, I lost the baby, and I never had time to use it, and the tags are still on!!"
"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that (she did look truly empathetic), but that's our policy!"
I felt like their policy had just given me a kick in the stomach.
I took it so hard, I was surprised.
Maybe because I told her about losing the baby.
It's a private thing after all.
I felt tears welling up, as I turned to leave the store, with my unused maternity top still in the bag in my hand...
"Bye!", she said behind me.
"Oh, yeah, bye" I said as I glanced over my shoulder.
I felt that this store had something against me.
It wasn't my fault that I had lost the baby!!

I called my Hubby, and told him how I felt.
He of course asked me not to worry about it.
No big deal if I couldn't return it.
I knew he was right, but I guess the feelings the situation had brought up, made me realize that I'm still quite sensitive.
He made sure I felt better before we hung up, and then I actually found a pair of jeans that fit me!
(I hate trying on anything in public changing rooms, and jeans are among the worst...)
This pregnancy made me gain more weight than I normally do, and now when there's no baby to nurse to help shed the pounds, the new "chub" is stubbornly stuck on me.  Argh.
Perfect timing for Christmas to show up too!  Yohoo!! (I admit to liking all the Christmas goodies WAY too much)

Well, I met up with a friend after shopping, and we went out for a late dinner.
It was really nice to just hang out and chat and eat (yummy pizza on ryebread!, and I wonder why I'm not losing weight??)

Well.  Now it's all full tilt with the Christmas gears rolling!
I can't shop or decorate or bake before the house is organized and cleaned, so I have a LOT of organizing and cleaning to do, which is fine, since I truly enjoy an organized house. (there's still a ton of stuff to go through since we moved)
With 9 people thou, I will never ever catch up to what I would like to keep as my standard.
So... yeah, we did some decorating already! (or we might not put anything out before Easter, and that would look quite wierd...)
The kids also made a batch of gingerbread cookies, so that's a start I guess.
In the end it doesn't really matter if everything is not as perfect as I'd like it to be, (trying to remember to pace myself!!), what I want is a home that feels "good".  That is cozy and warm and a good place to end a busy day.  No matter what time of the year of course, but Christmas is extra special.  It's that special feeling... This is the 1st year in this house, and things are not all done yet, but it's still "us" here.  And that's what matters.  And a clean floor of course! :)