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Thursday, March 17, 2011

Last day as a child?

I was just realizing something... I know there's no age limit to being a child, I think I'm still very much a child at heart, and I can act pretty childlike (good and bad!!) at times.  But when you become a teenager, are you officially "done" being a child?  Our oldest daughter turns 13 tomorrow, and as this realization came upon me, my eyes grew a bit misty...  It really seems like only a few days ago that I was 8 days overdue with her and went in to the hospital, but was sent home again... 13 years ago today.  Tomorrow is the big day, and on Saturday she'll be hosting a birthday party with a gaggle of other giggling girls about the same age.

Today she and her friend in school, who happens to be only 2 days older than my girl, brought in some goodies for the class to share.  They must be among the 1st real teens in their class, since their birthdays fall this early in the year.  Will they get a different status now?  I'm starting to realize how long ago it is since I was their age... The world has changed a great deal, and I really don't know what she is in for.  I try to be a mom with her eyes and ears open, but at times I know that I morph into a "Tyrannosauros Rex" right in front of my daughters rolling eyes.  I know she'll read this... and that she'll roll her eyes while reading it ;) 
Guess what thou?  I remember being 13 and 14, and I remember hurting inside, feeling like NOBODY understood me AT ALL!!!  And I remember vowing to myself that I would NEVER EVER forget what it felt like to be that age.  Never ever.  And I haven't.  Those feelings can still come up fresh and strong to the suface, especially when I see my girls feeling that way too... Sure, time has put a fuzzy blanket over the intensity, but I haven't forgotten...  I still get tears in my eyes thinking about that heap on the bed, crying her eyes out, feeling so lost and misunderstood... Me. 

So to my dear daughters and all you young girls out there!  We didn't forget what it was like being you.  We did grow up thou.  A bit stronger, a bit braver and a bit wiser.  Realizing that we didn't know quite everything...
I hope that I can be a mom who will never forget what it was like being a child, and how much it can hurt when the bud starts to blossom!!

2 comments:

Sofia L said...

Aaaaw... I SOOOOO much hear you, and I recall exactly the same feelings of being a teenager. How I miss that time of my life, but no - I don't want it back. Life only gets better, the older I get; thanks to Faith, Family and Friends. As long as I remember to keep those 3 as the most precious in my life, then the rest will turn out fine too.

Oh yeah... 13 yrs ago! Wow. I VERY much remember that day! :) I'd been visiting you in Canada, hoping that you'd have your first born while I was at your house - but alas no!
I was sooo proud though when I was asked to be her godmother! <3 So, HAPPY 13, my dear Miss E.K.H!!!! LOVE YOU!

mamman said...

I'm sure there was a couple years there in the middle when you forgot how being a teenager felt... come on now... remember sharing space in brown house?? Next door room-mates?? hahaha I am kidding, but I will never forget how I WAS being a teenager. I DO dread having teens in my own household. aaarrgghh