I have to literally carve out time to write a blog entry these days. Whew. Little Gabriella turned a month old yesterday and she has already brought so much love and joy to our home. It sure is special to a have new little person in the family.
She's growing fast and is a strong little girl, we are more than a little bit proud of her.
So, the last month has obviously been focused mostly on her, but it sure hasn't been boring otherwise either.
Hubby took some time off after she was born, and then was laid off, so he's not working at the moment (not construction anyway). He has been able to start working part time, from home, for his old boss, doing accounting and analyzing for their air-line leasing business. He actually loves that kind of work a lot! Since we can't provide for our family solely on these part time hours, hubby has been busy looking for other work as well.
He has been offered full time work for a construction business in another city, and so we decided that a move might -again!!!- be necessary...
So we found a few houses to rent, and for a while it looked like things were falling into place quite nicely, making it seem like this is what we are meant to be doing. We informed our landlord that we'll be moving out of our rental at the end of June, contacted the new schools our kids would be starting in the fall etc.
Then one of the rental houses fell through, but we figured, "Ah well, no big deal, we still have a second option" (that was more or less a done deal, we just wanted to go and see the house and sign the lease) until that house owner decided to sell his house instead of renting it out...
So. Back to looking for a rental again. It is not easy to find a house big enough for us, so it is more than a bit stressful and overwhelming, and we are second guessing our decision. Of course most of our friends and family had heard about our latest plans and our kids have already told their friends at school that we'll be moving. When you have made those announcements, you have already unloaded a lot of emotions that you carried up to that point. Then things came to a halt, bringing new emotions to the pot.
Argh. It is not very enjoyable or easy at all.
At the moment I am just trying to disconnect for a few days and just let myself float in God's hands.
But with moving boxes already brought up from the basement and things "hanging mid air", it's hard not to think about this whole situation.
I was fortunately able to extend our stay at our rental house to the end of July for now (thanks to our great landlord!), so that eases some of the stress.
I just wish I had a crystal ball that could show me what we are supposed to do. If we move, I am fine with that but also sad about leaving what we have now in this city. On the other hand, if we stay here, I know we'll be disappointed as well, and make some people sad. I would be fine with not actually moving though. This would be our 4th move in 5 summers... so if we don't move this summer would be fine! But if hubby doesn't work and doesn't find work here (he has tried and applied for many jobs locally), we will be in a pretty hard spot economically, so we realize that sometimes you have to make changes in order to better your life long term.
Life isn't easy, and I suppose it shouldn't be, but these last 4-5 years have brought a bit more change and excitement than we ever asked for.
I just have to try to focus on the good and to be thankful for all the things that are good and easy in our life.
We have a beautiful, healthy new baby to enjoy.
We have great kids and a happy marriage.
We are healthy.
We have food for the day and all the essential things that make life convenient, like cars, means to cook, clean and do laundry.
We have hopes and dreams for our future, we have faith and friends.
I pray that God will soon show us the right direction and that we'd be given patience and wisdom to accept whatever we are dealt.