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Saturday, March 7, 2015

Live and bloom!

I am very fortunate, in many ways.  One of the ways is the fact that I have good friends, like, really awesome friends who love and like me, are there for me, no matter how pathetic, whiny, down, sad, happy, weird, corny I am.
My number one friend is obviously my Hubby, but besides him, I have many others.
Some of them are my siblings and my "spare sister", she's a really good friend of our family, and as close to a sister you can be, without actually being one.
She laughs at us (us being my siblings and I) when we act weird or typical for our family.
She's also a very funny, sarcastic and honest friend, and she will tell you how it is, the good and the bad, and remind us to cheer up when we are down, but at the same time shows empathy and understanding for our sometimes pessimistic moments.

Anyway, this last month was rough for me, due to the cold and snow.  I already blogged about it, so I won't lament on how much it dragged on.  However, my good friend reminded me to "Live and bloom where you are planted!"
It hit home.
Such simple words, but also so true.
I know that God guided us to be where we are for a reason.  We were meant to move here, and in many ways it's a really good place for us to live at.  But I felt like I was wilting lately.  I forgot to water and nourish myself.  I allowed myself to look at the negative and dwell over things I have no control over and can't change.  What a waste of time!  Or maybe not.  Because it also gave me time to vent and reflect over many things, and that is important, I think.
Reminding myself to "Live and bloom", put my mind in a good place.
It made me think "What can I do to improve my situation?" (Because no one else will do it for me)
"What can I do for others, to help improve their lives...?"
Well, that list is endless.  There's always something you can do for others.  And when I find myself spending too much time dwelling on things that drag me down, I try to do something for someone else, and it pretty much always make me feel better.

Don't start thinking I am this great person who do all sorts of great stuff for others, because I'm not.
It might be small things, like reading a book for one of the kids, asking one of my teens about their day, taking time to really listen, and before I know it, my focus has shifted and I feel uplifted.

Talking about feeling uplifted.  Last night I had a great chat with our 15 year old.  Our daughter that had a really hard time last fall.
It's been about 3-4 months now since she was at her lowest.  Back then I felt so much inner turmoil, so many questions unanswered.  What was the best thing to do?  Will people judge?  Will people think we picked the "easy route" if we put her on medication?  (which in NO WAY is an easy route, trust me!).
There are so many kids now days that are diagnosed with "something".  If our daughter got a diagnosis, would she be a number in the statistics of families hopping on the bandwagon of some new "trend"?

Well, I can not answer for anyone else but ourselves.  And it IS startling how many kids are diagnosed with something and given medication these days.
BUT!  That doesn't mean our daughter shouldn't get the help she needed.  Maybe she's a number in some book.  But she's also our child.  She also needs to be able to feel happy and be able to succeed in school.
So, together with several professionals, we decided to give her a low dose of antidepressant for her anxiety and give that some time before doing anything else.  We could all see a change for the better, and she felt better, happier and less anxious, however, her ability to concentrate in school was still very poor.
Our daughter was recognized as a "gifted child" at age 8-9 after going through several hours of testing in grade 3.  So we know that learning comes easy to her, in pretty much all areas.  But her lack of ability to focus, put many of her strengths to shame.
So after trying several other changes, including removing wheat and sugar from her diet (which did help her to some extend), making sure she got enough sleep, ate well, moved around a lot etc, we decided to put her on medication for her ADHD.

I had tears in my eyes when I walked back to the car, carrying her prescription in a bag.  What was this stuff that I was going to give my child?  Had we really tired it all?  This stuff is a narcotic.  It just sounds so BAD! No, it wasn't easy.  And the Dr did not prescribe it without a thorough evaluation and many visits and counseling.  And maybe way too many kids are given medication... but there and then, I prayed that we were doing the right thing for OUR child.
We are very fortunate that she has a positive nature and an optimistic outlook on life.  We are blessed with her having many promising talents and gifts.  She's blessed with a strong, healthy, beautiful body, face and personality.
She's a great, funny, sarcastic girl, and I truly enjoy being her mom.
I have also spent many hours, especially in the last year, crying on her behalf.  Seeing that she was struggling. Her schooling was suffering.  She was not happy.

Two weeks have gone by and she's taken her meds on school days.  She's not drugged up or out of it. She's eating and sleeping well.  She's smiling and is way calmer and a lot more focused and collected.  Last night we had a good chat.  I felt such great happiness for her sake.  Her beaming face, telling me how math is now "SO EASY!!!".  She can finally stay focused enough to get through each class, ahead of all the other students (not like that really matters, but just to show what an improvement it has been for her!).
She said she gets upset when lunch hour rolls around "Because then I can't do anything academic!".

So today I am happy.  And I shall do my best to bloom and live, for my sake and for my family's sake.  And I am thankful for modern medicine.  When used properly, for its intended purpose, it's a wonderful blessing in a young girl's life.








3 comments:

Sandi Oliverio said...

Kaisa,
What a beautiful sharing of such a heavy worry for a mother. It does sound like you did the right thing, and perhaps this will not have to be forever....or it may.
I also have a daughter, that while much older now needed to be placed on medications to lead a 'normal' life...whatever 'normal' is deemed to be. Remember, we do the best we can, with the knowledge we are given at that time. Love, hugs and prayers to you. - SandiO

Sofia Lokke said...

...and we all love our spare sister from the bottom of our hearts! :-)
So happy for your 2nd oldest and her improvements. She deserves all the best! :-)
In our hearts, thoughts and prayers! Always!

MeWoman said...

Thanks, Sandy! And I want to remember you and your family as well 💓